You’ve Got to Be Kidding
“What? Laugh at a time like this? You’ve got to be kidding.” As a caregiver both at work and at home, I thought it was just “too serious” to find humor caring for my ill family member and all the people in the hospital. Watching people I loved deteriorate and suffer certainly was not a laughing matter.
But just when I least expected it, a joke or humorous moment would come from my loved one or someone I was caring for in the hospital. For instance, a single woman with pancreatic cancer in my care had developed a severe gastrointestinal issue that required keeping a bedpan or commode close at hand. The commodes we had were very small and when I brought one in to see if it would be OK, she said, “It’s better than this thing,” throwing the bedpan.
One day, I answered her call bell and found her sitting on the commode. “I can’t get out,” she cried. I began to assist her and the two of us ended up in bed together. She was partially on top of me, and we just looked at each other and began to laugh. As we started calming down and moving out of each other’s way, she stated, “Boy, I haven’t had that much fun in bed in a long time.” She laughed so hard the rest of the day and every day we were together. People like her gave me the courage to giggle behind the seriousness of all the stuff.
The familiar reflex “You’ve got to be kidding” provides a clue for how we can survive the anxiety and chaos created by life’s challenges. As caregivers, we are at high risk of becoming sick ourselves, and humor can help relieve and release our stress. If our loved one is included, we both are likely to reap the rewards of laughter.
The Health Benefits of Humor “A clown is like an aspirin, only he works twice as fast.”—
Groucho Marx
Norman Cousins drew attention to the health benefits of humor in his books Anatomy of an Illness and Head First: The Biology of Hope. His debilitating disease left him in almost constant pain. He discovered that watching comedy films and laughing helped him sleep pain-free for two hours longer. His books and testimonial to the power of laughter drew the attention and curiosity of the medical community. Researchers wanted to know how this happened and began to study the effects of humor.
Scientists have since discovered that laughter relaxes the body and eases muscle tension, reduces problems with high blood pressure, and offers distraction.
A good hearty laugh can help with the following.
-
Reducing stress.
-
Lowering blood pressure.
-
Elevating mood—just making you feel good.
-
Connecting you to others.
-
Protecting the heart.
-
Improving brain functioning.
-
Giving you a good workout.
Bringing Humor into Caregiving
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
—
Dalai Lama
Of course, you want to be sensitive to when humor is appropriate. As professional comedians know, timing is everything. For instance, when you or someone you love is first diagnosed with a serious illness, neither of you may be ready for humor. Instead, there might be a need for crying and sorting out changes and questions. How did this happen? What does this all mean? What do we do?
Another key to introducing humor into caregiving is to make sure to use the “connecting” type of humor. You’ll know you’re doing this when the laughing comes naturally, is contagious and energizing, and involves and embraces others.
Here are some tips for making sure your humor is connecting and not offensive.
-
Use humor after another person initiates humor.
-
Aim the joke at yourself.
-
Poke fun of the situation rather than at another person or group.
-
Do a brief humor inquiry: Has your loved one given you any clues that indicate they are receptive to humor? Does she attempt to share humor with anyone? Is he able to perceive and understand humor? Does she prefer a certain comedy artist, comedy show, or comic strip?
What’s So Funny?
We all have a different laughter ‘meter’ on what we find humorous. It’s a matter of perspective. One way to spark comedy is to size up the situation and ask yourself the following questions.
-
What might be funny in this?
-
How would I write this situation as a scene in my favorite TV sitcom or comic strip?
-
How would I write this situation as a jingle or song?
-
How would my favorite superhero handle the situation?
-
How would my pet view the situation?
Tips on Creating Comedy
Find one humorous thing a day and begin to collect them in a scrapbook. I use one and it has been a therapeutic tool for me to take a five-minute fun break and look through the pages and see what I collected over the years. You might even be amazed at what you thought was funny last month. Looking at it today, you might ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”
- Build a humor library and video/DVD collection at your home.
-
Read the comics first. You can register to receive your own custom-made comic strip via e-mail at
www.mycomicspage.com.
-
Hang around with or call a “laugh” buddy.
-
Create a “fun first aid kit.” Collect toys, squirt guns, bubbles, tongue twisters; whatever makes you feel playful and ready to laugh. Involve your loved one in building the kit or have your own special one.
-
Make time for “play time/silly time” with the fun kit or any other activities that bring out the funny side in you.
-
Join a laughter club. (See below in Resources for where and how to join.)
-
Do this smiling meditation.
Morning and Evening Smiling Meditation Exercise
Find a comfortable place to sit with your head and back supported. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, called a “signal breath,” and shift your focus onto your breathing. After a few breaths, begin to form a smile. Just start with a gradual smile, making it bigger and bigger until your teeth show. Breathe comfortably, continuing to hold this toothy smile for a minute or two while visualizing pleasant scenes.
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”—Thich Nhat Hanh
A sense of humor helps us manage the stress of caregiving, providing a moment to disengage from the suffering while still remaining sensitive. Laughter brings us into the moment, and that is a moment of joy, love, and hope. There is something wonderful about sharing a laugh with another person. It always makes you feel better.
Resources
Laughter Clubs were founded to support and promote laughter, and to act as a grassroots laughter movement with the mission of organizing laughter events to promote health and peace. What happens at laughter club sessions? People gather and take part in the laughter exercise workout and other activities that encourage playfulness, fun, and mental balance. More information is available through these websites.
World Laughter Tours. www.worldlaughtertour.com
Laughter Yoga. www.laughteryoga.org
Gilda’s Club. www.gildasclub.org
Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) is an international community of professionals who incorporate humor into their daily lives. You’ll find information on their organization and research at www.aath.org.
The ComedyCures Foundation was founded by Saranne Rothberg as an outgrowth of her personal experience with the healing power of a comic perspective. www.comedycures.org
Books
The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama
Anatomy of an Illness As Perceived by a Patient: Reflections on Healing, by Norman Cousins
The Healing Power of Humor, by Allen Klein
The Courage to Laugh, by Allen Klein
Compassionate Laughter: Jest for Your Health, by Patty Wooten
Chill: 271 Tips, Practices & Secrets for Staying Healthy, Happy & Sane under Pressure, by Steve Wilson
How to Be Happy All the Time, by Paramhansa Yogananda
100 Simple Secrets of Happy People, by David Niven
Life Is Not a Stress Rehearsal, by Loretta LaRoche
Remembrances
National Humor Month is April
World Laughter Day is May 6
| Author Bio |
 Laura Zimmerman, MA, RNC, CMSRN, is an advocate for the advancement of integrative approaches to health and well-being in the field of nursing and healthcare. She is nationally trained in numerous modalities, including Integrative Imagery, Reiki, and massage. Zimmerman currently has a private practice and works at Jersey City Medical Center, New Jersey, on the Palliative Care team. She is known for her dedication to helping others know and understand themselves as unique individuals. Her mission is to offer options to individuals who desire to improve their lives and live more closely to their fullest potential, providing a supportive environment of love, acceptance, and laughter. Her website is www.dailylivingwellness.com.
|