Your Values Play a Big Role
Talk with One Another
Then Talk to Your Provider

During the first visit with every patient and family member we see in our palliative care consult service, we always ask these two questions.

1. Is there anything that we as your healthcare providers have not addressed?
2. What gives you hope, comfort, consolation when facing difficult situations?

Your Values Play a Big Role

Most patients who answer these questions reveal what is most important to them. And it is usually their spiritual values. This doesn’t necessarily have to do with a particular religion, although it might. Mostly, a person’s spiritual values speak to what gives life meaning. Knowing these values helps our palliative care team find the best path toward healing, even if we are not able to cure an illness.

Talk with One Another

Find a way to make your wishes known. Many complete advance directives, which are written documents that help others know your values, beliefs and wishes regarding your care. The most important thing, though, is to talk with family members and others about those wishes so that they know in advance what you would want in certain situations. We recommend that caregivers and family members have these conversations about beliefs and values and what gives life meaning as early as possible.

It is also easier to have the important emotional and spiritual conversations when symptoms are managed well, so that a patient can reflect on these questions without the distractions of pain or discomfort—another reason palliative care is so important.

So talk to one another about your wishes—and do it soon. Remember, it’s not just about hearing from the patient. Family members should all share their values and beliefs. Trying to figure things out without this conversation can lead to great distress among family caregivers, so knowing ahead of time can be the greatest gift you give one another.

Then Talk to Your Provider

I have always told other healthcare providers that my greatest teachers are my patients and their family members. Unfortunately, though, there is sometimes a false barrier that makes it hard for professional caregivers and patients to share their deeper beliefs, values, and needs with providers. Don’t let this barrier get in your way. You have much to teach the staff that is providing care, so be sure to tell them what is important to you.

Just as it is with an extended family, you may find it is easier to open up with some healthcare providers than with others. Find the ones you can confide in and ask them to chart relevant information and share your concerns with other members of the healthcare team.

My advice is to take any opportunity to talk to your provider about what matters most to you and your loved one. Ask your provider to take a seat for just a few moments so you can share something important. Keep in mind that this conversation has great value for you as well as the provider.

We are all in this together. So remember that what you tell your healthcare providers now will certainly help them in the future—if only to teach them how to take better care of you and your loved one.

Expert Author Bio

Joan Panke, APRN, BC-PCM, is the Palliative Care Coordinator at George Washington University Hospital in Washington, DC. As a palliative care nurse practitioner, Panke has extensive expertise in helping patients and families manage the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of facing a life-threatening illness. She is a curriculum consultant and national faculty member for the End-of-Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC) Project (see www.aacn.nche.edu/ELNEC) and is president of the Greater Washington Partnership for Palliative and End-of-Life Care (see: http://gwpartnership.org/).