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Posted by: reggie 7/26/2008 4:24 PM
How do I accept my husbands limits?
My husband has been in hosptial/nursing home for 249 days. He is still unable to walk.  The doctor/nurse/Rehab have said there is not reason he can not walk again.
 
I believe he can walk again.  He just does not want to.  He fights rehab when they come to the house.  He does not want to try to transfer from the bed to a wheel chair, all he says is "I can't"
 
How do I accept, in my opinion, him just giving up? 
  
Comments (1)  
Re: accepting limits    By Anonymous on 9/26/2008 8:38 PM
I understand your frustration. My husband has colon cancer and refuses to do anything to improve his situation. He will only do chemo and doctors. He won't take vitamins or anything that will help support his immune system and colon. He eats fatty deep fried foods. He eats raw fruits and vegetables which are not allowed due to his very low immune system from the drugs. Right now he is in bed with a high fever probably due to a food borne bacteria. I have come to let go and accept that this is his life and death. It is his journey and only he gets to live it. There are days when I get angry because I'm the one dealing with his fever with ice packs, asprin, etc. But, I don't have cancer so I am able to support him. It takes time and practice to let go and just accept without anger, but it is doable. Hang in there. I also discussed with my husband that I am not someone he needs to rebel against. His health is his responsibility, not mine and I will support whatever he chooses to do......or not do. He is free to travel his own path whatever road he chooses to take, but I won't choose the road and argue against it anymore. I am free and so is he. Yahoo.
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This project was supported by grant number 5R44CA097592-03 from NIH (National Cancer Institute). Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of the NIH (National Cancer Institute).