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Location: Blogs A New Life Adventure |
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Posted by: Shamar |
6/28/2008 8:42 PM |
Friends think I need a support group to deal with this situation. I know I'm doing fine. They want me to make it better and be the leader on how to deal with cancer, but I'm in the middle and just treading water. This isn't a happy time and I can't make it happy and wonderful for anyone. Sometimes I'm angry, sad or just want to be alone. I know that is ok and part of the process, but the additional pressure from well wishers is trying and now I am making an effort in an already full day to appease their demands.
Geez, just accept where I am and embrace me. I have talked with two shrinks and they both agreed that what I am feeling and expressing is normal under the circumstances. I don't need anyone putting one more marble on the pile that is already heaped high.
I understand their concern, but I am fine, all things considered. I can't make it happy with special moments with Bob for them. They need to create them for themselves. I have reliquished the social coordinator role and everyone is floundering and trying to pull me back into that role because they are uncomfortable. I just want to get through each day and maybe play in my garden for a few minutes each day.
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Comments (2)
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Re: One more thing to do |
By Anonymous on
7/1/2008 6:38 PM |
Thanks for sharing such a real and honest voice. Shed the roles and demands that burden you. Reject the marbles. Play in your garden. We're cheering for you and Bob.
From CareCommunity Manager
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Re: One more thing to do |
By Anonymous on
7/5/2008 5:49 PM |
Sometimes, well who are we kidding most of the time it can be so overwhelming you just want to scream. I can relate that everyone wants you to be the "Wonder Woman" and "Martha Stewart" and create social events for everyone. So you ask yourself why can't they do it? I have been dealing with this question now for the last 4 years on why my partner's family take the intitative and plan? Well it's simple, they have you do to it for them and this way the uncomforatable aspect never plays into the role.
Goodness to have time for me it like asking people to become ill themselves. Everyone has an opion on what you should be doing how you should be doing it but when it comes to push and shove and you hold out the "help me" sign...they instantly have other priorities.
Do I sound alittle bitter, yeah I probably am. I was so tired of everyone in my face telling me how to do this and that but when I nearly fell apart from sheer exhaustion no one was their to assist and I had to be almost admitted to the hosptial while still be the caregiver to my partner. (No family if his could be found)
So here I am a sick person taking care of a sicker person...and yet I find my moments laughing at the whole situation. (Goodness I'm I going crazy! HA HA)
My whole point to this is this, you TAKE that time and enjoy it! YOU DESERVE IT! As for everyone else, not sure about your situation but I finally just held out the keys to the house and said bye, he's all yours....and they shut up real fast.
I hope this isn't offensive to any who read it but it's what's called reality and the facts of what us caregivers have to go through on a daily accord.
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