I have the same problems with a sister. My mom lives with us and my sister makes an obligatory visit for 2 hours once a month. Needless to say I work full time and she doesn't work at all. The only compensation she offers is monetary because it is easier for her to pay up then to come visit. However, it doesn't compensate for the fact that my mom is at the end of her journey and wants to see her other daughter. I have an aid who takes care of my mom, but because she lives with me I still have to do doctors, medicine and all the other little chores that I could certainly use some help with. I have reconciled myself to the fact that I cannot change my sisters behavoir, but I can change the way I react to it. So I make sure that I take care of myself and my family and know that I did the best I could for my mom to make the remaining time in her life comfortable.

I'm the youngest sibling, still have children at home, and am the caregiver for Mom, Dad, and my Dad-in-law (actually, my husband takes care of his Dad... we just visit).

 

I asked each sibling to "check out places near them". They didn't. They are who they are. I can't change that. So, I'm adjusting my life to take care of the folks. I consider it a very difficult privilidge. Most people can't begin to understand what a change this is and how it affects my family. At least my kids will get the idea they need to care for me!! : )