Hello.

 

I would love to hear from others who have dealt with similar problems.

 

My husband of 25 years has MS, which was diagnosed only a year or so after we were married.  It has gradually progressed to the point where he uses a wheelchair and doesn't work. 

 

He recently changed from catheterizing himself to using an external urine collecting bag.  While this was a good decision on his part because it reduces the likelihood of urinary tract infections, it has been a very difficult adjustment for me.

 

I am very upset by the odor associated with his incontinence and collecting equipment.  He is very independent (stubborn?) and refuses to accept help from a visiting nurse or other health care provider. 

 

At first I was very vocal when the odor was bad, but recently have sort of given up.  I am willing to help -- I change the sheets often, mop up accidents, etc.  But there is just a chronic odor associated with the collecting system.  He seems to spill on his pants quite often just from handling the equipment.  Sometimes he forgets to close a valve and leaks on the floor or in bed.

 

I travel for work 2-3 days/week, and work at home the rest of the time.  We do have a wonderful housekeeper who comes in once a week to clean and do laundry. 

 

Up to now, he and I have maintained our friendship and strong alliance in the face of his MS.  But this challenge has me feeling very sad and lonely.  It feels like the death of our marital partnership.

 

When I complain, he says that he cannot smell anything, and acts embarassed/irritated with me for bringing it up.

 

Anyone been here before?

Thanks so much.

A