Due to the volume of questions we receive for our “Ask an Expert” forum, we can’t post and answer every question. We hoped our community members could offer thoughts, advice or encouragement to the caregiver who wrote this question.
 
Dear CareCommunity,

I have been caring for my husband, who was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis two years ago. He was placed on the transplant list, and was transplanted with a new right lung in Nov. of 2007. My question is, this has been a very stressful and scary time for my family. There are so many variables with a transplant, so many medications, drug induced diabetes, many follow up appts, and not to mention the medical bills, etc. all of which I tend to by myself. I find myself either happy and relieved that he made it thru the transplant, or extremely sorrowful. I have many very frustrating moments, and my husband does not seem to understand that it is a fine line where my mood changes, and he believes that I am unstable and in need of help for my mental ups and downs. I have been seeking such help.

He does not understand that my age, menopause, coupled with the worry and stress of his health, and the many other stressors I live with every day, that I am the problem, and the whole problem, its not him, or his attitude, its not financial side of his illness. Is it normal in anyway for caregivers to have a frustration level? Is it normal for caregivers to have some depression stemming from the loved ones illness? Am I the only caregiver who has had doubts about the care they give, or feel inadequate when the patient is not responding as expected? Am I the only caregiver who worries, and cries? Just when i think we will get thru this, i have a bad morning or a rough day, and am told that it is the stress I cause that is keeping him from recovering? Is it normal to have to "take things one at a time, and some days to have to talk yourself thru rough times? He does not understand when I tell him I am having a rough day, he just feels it is me, my state of mind, and has nothing to do with the responsibility I have. Am I crazy? I don’t want to make him any more uncomfortable, or miserable.