I am a 47-year-old woman who is caring for my 72-year-old mom. She has been living with us for five years, but has her own apartment in a converted detached garage.

My mom has a degenerative kidney disease along with other health issues, and she is growing tired of fighting all of it. In other words, she is talking about quitting dialysis and going into hospice. I know this is her right and I can understand why she feels this way. She is sore and uncomfortable and can barely get around. But this is so painful for me. I feel angry and sad ALL THE TIME. I try not to show this to my mother, but unfortunately, I sometimes take it out on my husband and children.

And yet my mother gives me courage to face this. She keeps telling me that WE will make the right decisions at the right time. She isn’t cutting me out of her decision-making process. We have started going over advance directives, funeral planning, estate stuff, etc. I feel that we are planning ahead and I am with her in all this, and that helps me face what is best for her.