I’m a mother of four taking care of my 82 year old father-in-law, who is quickly developing dementia.  One of the hardest things has been watching my kids try to interact with their grandpa in the way they’re used to.  They’ve always loved him.  They still want to play with him, or crawl up on his lap to read books.  My husband and I have tried to explain some of the things that are happening to grandpa, but I don’t think it’s totally sunk in. 

A few weeks ago, my father-in-law started wetting the bed at night.  We finally had to get him some adult diapers.  Try explaining this to kids.  His incontinence has also added to the strain of caregiving … we’re already exhausted, but now we have to worry about whether he needs help to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Recently my son Jake who just turned three provided us with some humor that I think was much needed.  Jake still wears nighttime diapers that we call "night pants".  The other night, Jake walked into my father-in-law’s room to say goodnight, and he came out with a big grin on his face.  "Mommy,’" he said, "Grandpa wears night pants just like me!"  And he looked so proud!  At first my husband and I didn’t know how we should react, but then we both just burst out laughing!  It felt so good to see the humor behind such a rough situation, and it took a three-year-old to point it out.